Semi-Automatic Guns à la Dr. Seuss: Would you like One on the Road, Would you Like one in a School?

Ann Arbor (Informed Comment) – WLKY: “The Laurel County Sheriff’s Office says shots were fired on Interstate 75 near London, Kentucky. Deputies are looking for Joseph A. Couch, 32, as a person of interest. According to officials, five people were shot and three people were injured in car crashes connected to the incident.” The shooter was shirtless and fled into the forest, considered armed and dangerous.

It is a serious subject, but the frivolity with which it is often treated by American politicians and judges needs some ridicule. Hence, the doggerel below.

I do not like the repeating gun.
I do not like the Smith & Wesson.

I do not think such guns are fun.
I would not like one on the run.
I would not like one when I’m done.
I would not like it, no, my son.

And would you like one on a road?
I would not like one on a road.
or people wounded as they rode.
I would not like one to unload
I would not like one to explode.
I would not watch that episode.
I would not like one on a road.

And would you like one in a school?
I would not like one in a school.
I would not think that’s very cool,
To see a Ruger with a fool,
or in the hands of a damned ghoul —
whose addled mind is a cesspool.
For children it would just be cruel.
I would not like one in a school.

And would you like one in a mall?
I would not like one in a mall.
I would not like it at nightfall
I would not like such a downfall
I would not like to see a brawl
That sort of thing does not enthrall
The blood and trauma would appall
I would not like one in a mall.

I would not, could not on a road.
I would not want him to reload.
I would not, could not in a school.
I would not, could not with a fool.
I would not, could not at a mall.
I would not, could not, not at all.